


Path Of A Wounded Heart

by NeedyUke



Category: Original Work
Genre: Blow Jobs, Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Grief/Mourning, M/M, New love, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Public Display of Affection, Semi-Public Sex, Virginity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-25
Updated: 2017-05-21
Packaged: 2018-10-10 12:32:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10437816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeedyUke/pseuds/NeedyUke
Summary: Just as Yashiro was convinced that his happiness was over when the love of his life, Miki, was killed, new love blossoms from an old friendship. Will Yashiro be able to reconcile his guilt in order to build a future with Koichi?





	1. Chapter 1

Yashiro sat on the moon lit river bank and watched the glowing lanterns floating past him as a gentle breeze rippled the surface of the water and ruffled his hair. Trying to calm himself, he toyed with the lantern he held in his hands. He did not want to float his lantern. He did not want to say goodbye.

Miki had been ripped away from this world…away from him…far too soon. He had been young, vibrant, healthy, and full of life. But most of all, Miki had been Yashiro’s whole world. He was still his whole world. He had been taken away in a ruthless knife attack late one night over his wallet, which contained nothing but his train pass. Stabbed in the chest and left to die alone…for a goddamn train pass.

With a heavy sigh, Yashiro reached into his pocket for a pen, but came back empty handed. A mixture of dark emotions brimming with anger and regret bubbled up from the pit of his stomach and soon consumed him. He was such an idiot for forgetting to bring a pen. Alas, once again, another year has come and gone without Miki, and still he could not properly say goodbye. Big, fat tears of frustration welled up in his eyes as he lifted the lantern up over his head. As Yashiro was about to smash the fragile lantern to bits on the banks of the river, a warm, strong hand encircled his wrist, halting the destruction of Miki’s lantern and catching Yashiro by surprise.

“Such a beautiful lantern. It would be a shame to see it broken,” came a warm, confident voice from behind. Yashiro gently set down the lantern and turned to see the young man standing behind him pull a pen from his pocket.

Tears fell from Yashiro’s eyes as he searched the man’s face.

“Here, take this. Write your message and send Miki on his way,” he said placing the pen in Yashiro’s hand and gently closing his fingers around it.

“Koichi, what are you doing here?” Yashiro asked softly, almost in a whisper, to his friend of many, many years. “Did someone you love…die?”

Koichi gave his hand a gentle squeeze and smiled. “I have always found the Lantern Festival soothing,” was all he said on the matter.

Yashiro looked at Miki’s lantern and then back at Koichi. “Go on, Yashiro. Write your message to Miki and then send him on his way.”

Yashiro turned his back to Koichi, hunching over the lantern, and prepared to write his final message to Miki. Falling tears distorted his vision as he wrote the words on the lantern…the same words he has uttered to the lonely darkness countless times since Miki died three years ago.

The message was short and simple. It read:

_Miki, I love you.  
~Yashiro_

Yashiro stole a glance over his shoulder to see if his message had been read by curious eyes. Koichi only smiled, held up an already lit candle and extended his free hand to help Yashiro to his feet.

Together, they crossed the few steps to the edge of the river, and Yashiro sank to his knees, placing the candle in the lantern. He turned his face to Koichi and mumbled, “I don’t think I can do this. I don’t think I can say goodbye.”

Koichi kneeled behind Yashiro, and, silently wrapping his arms around his shoulders, gave him the reassurance he needed. With shaking hands and a trembling heart, he placed the lantern in the water gently lapping at the shore and gave it a tender nudge into the slow-moving current.

“Goodbye, Miki,” was all he could manage before harsh sobs shook his body and stole his words away. Koichi remained behind him, holding him, and giving him all his strength, until he finally quieted and calmed.

It was done. Miki was set along the path to the next stage of his journey leaving Yashiro alone to navigate this world without him.

~

Koichi walked Yashiro home that night. The trek was made in silence. Yashiro was barely aware of Koichi’s presence, too lost in his own emotions. Koichi knowingly kept his thoughts to himself sensing that his words would be of no help at this time.

When Yashiro climbed into bed, he wanted nothing more than the empty darkness of deep sleep to numb his mind. But he knew that he would probably dream of Miki again. He dreamed of Miki almost every night since he passed away three years ago. He had one recurring dream with agonizing frequency:

_He was seated atop a soft cushion on the floor in the apartment he had shared with Miki when he heard his lover call to him from out on the balcony. “Hey, Yashiro…open the door and let me in,” Miki said every time. Yashiro was always overcome with joy to see Miki again he leaped to his feet rushing to the door to let him in and welcome him back home. But the door would not open. No matter what he tried, the door remained firmly closed. Miki just looked at him through the window with a devastatingly sad look on his face._

As Yashiro let tears slip from his closed eyes, sleep took him. He did dream about Miki, but this dream was very different than any he had had before:

_Yashiro and Miki were sitting together holding hands on the river bank. Yashiro felt so at peace with Miki by his side, but something…something…was gnawing at his subconscious. Something unpleasant. Miki turned to his lover and whispered, “It is time to let me go. You will be fine without me. You will be happy again. You will love again.” With this, Miki kissed Yashiro on the forehead and stood. He walked three steps into the river and paused to look over his shoulder at Yashiro. He smiled reassuringly and said, “I love you, Yashiro.” Yashiro tried to call out but could make no sound. He jumped to his feel to chase after Miki, but stumbled. When he looked up, Miki was no longer there standing in the water. It was just a lantern, Miki’s lantern, slowly floating away from him._

~

Koichi asked Yashiro to meet him for lunch about a week after the Lantern Festival. They each bought a bento and ate together sitting in the soft grass in the shade of a giant maple tree. A soft breeze brought with it the fresh scents of a refreshingly cool summer day.

“You are looking good, Yashiro. And your smile is back. Did something happen?” Koichi asked while stealing a bite of pork from Yashiro’s bento.

“Nothing happened, really. I don’t know. I feel… _lighter_. Less burdened. I know I should be overcome with grief, but…”

Koichi cut him off. “No, you should _not_ be overcome with grief. Miki died three years ago. You have walked in the darkness ever since then. The living must go on living. It is up to you to find your happiness,” he said, hoping he did not sound too harsh. He understood his friend’s feelings, but he had lingered in the darkness long enough.

“But is it right for me to find happiness? To be happy without Miki? I have always loved Miki.” Yashiro said to his friend with uncertainty shimmering in his eyes.

Koichi took a deep breath and set his bento aside. He looked deep into Yashiro’s eyes and gently traced his fingers across his cheek. He swallowed hard and decided this was the moment. “You have always loved Miki. But, Yashiro, I have always loved you.”

~End of Chapter One


	2. Chapter 2

_From Chapter One~_

Koichi took a deep breath and set his bento aside. He looked deep into Yashiro’s eyes and gently traced his fingers across his cheek. He swallowed hard and decided this was the moment. “You have always loved Miki. But, Yashiro, I have always loved _you_.”

**Chapter Two**

“You…love m-me?” Yashiro stuttered. “Since when? For how long?”

“Since…forever. I could never tell you because you were happy with Miki. And I watched you suffer with your grief for three long years. It hurt me to see the one I love in such pain,” Yashiro confessed. He desperately hoped he was not making a tragic mistake.

Yashiro reached one trembling hand up and laced his fingers within Koichi’s, still pressed against his cheek. He closed his eyes and momentarily lost himself in the sensation of just being touched again. Being touched in an affectionate way. He did not even realize how much he missed this.

“But how can I let himself enjoy this? To even consider the thought? Miki…” Yashiro thought.

Yashiro stood abruptly and awkwardly said, “I…umm…I have some things to do. Sorry. I really need to go.” Leaving his forgotten bento and his confused friend behind, he jogged up the hill, running to find some sense of normalcy. He shouted over his shoulder, “I will call you.”

Yashiro disappeared over the top of the hill and ran top speed to the nearest public restroom. His mind was reeling, but more than that, his heart was racing out of control, and his face still felt tingly where Koichi had touched him.

He burst through the restroom door and locked it behind him. Breathing hard, he struggled to get himself back under control. He splashed cold water on his face and touched the skin of his cheek where Koichi had caressed him. With a heavy sigh he sunk to the floor and put his face in his hands. 

The way Koichi had touched him…and his words…re-awakened something in Yashiro, and this flooded him with guilt. How could he desire more of this? It felt so wrong, and yet, at the same time, if felt so right.

“Miki, tell me what I should do…please,” Yashiro whispered into the emptiness of the dimly lit restroom. No answer came. 

He stood and walked to the door, unlocked it, and went home in a tormented daze. 

That night, Yashiro dreamed of Miki again. He always kind of understood the vague meanings of his dreams about his deceased lover, but this one baffled him:

_Yashiro was laying in bed next to Miki, floating through that blissful land halfway in between being awake and being asleep. The bed shifted, and he smiled to himself when he felt Miki’s arm drape over his chest. All was right in the world. All was fabulous. He let out a long, contented sigh and snuggled into his partner. But then Miki’s arm got heavier and heavier, as if made of lead. Yashiro was having trouble getting his breath. He tried to push Miki’s arm off his chest but couldn’t budge it. He was so breathless that when he asked Miki to move his arm, all that came out were feeble squeaks. His vision blurred and he heard ringing in his ears. He was losing consciousness. He stole one last glance at Miki before the blackness took him. Miki was a decomposing corpse, rotting skin dripping from his face. His eyes were wide open, and he had an malevolent grin plastered on his face. Miki was trying to kill him._

~

“Yashiro, please talk to me,” read Koichi’s text message. He received it a week ago. Yashiro had been effectively avoiding him for days, and, yet, Koichi never left his thoughts. 

“What am I doing?” Yashiro thought to himself. Koichi was his friend. He could not avoid him forever. He did not want to avoid him forever. He only wanted to get his turbulent emotions back in check before seeing him again.

Yashiro stood up straight and squared his shoulders, quite possibly for the first time since Miki had died. He typed the message into his phone and quickly hit the SEND button before he could second guess himself.

“Meet me at Stargazer’s Point at midnight,” was all he wrote.

~

Yashiro left the apartment and headed to the area that the locals called Stargazer’s Point. It was, in fact, the grassy side of a steep peak that descended down to a crescent shaped bay, and then on to the ocean. The lights of the city were well hidden on the other side of the peak which made this location perfect for viewing the stars. 

He hiked up the dirt path with only the moonlight to guide him. But he knew the way well. He used to come here often with Miki. He stole a peek at his phone as he neared the top of the path. 23:35. Damn, he was so early. He slipped over the top of the ridge and let his eyes adjust momentarily. There, about half way down the grassy hillside, stood Koichi staring up at the stars. 

Yashiro took a minute to compose himself. His heart was racing just from the sight of his friend. He still had no idea what he came here to say. His mind, and his heart, were a jumble of conflicting feelings. All he knew for certain is that he wanted to see Koichi.

He started forward and cleared his throat. Koichi turned and waved enthusiastically when he saw Yashiro.

Jogging up the steep incline, Koichi yelled to his friend, “Yashiro! Glad to see you. I will admit I half expected you not to show up.”

“What are you even talking about? I am the one who invited you. Thanks for coming,” Yashiro said, cringing to himself. He sounded so formal…like he was welcoming guests to a dinner party or something. His heart was beating out of his chest, and it was not from the hike up the hill. He groaned internally for he realized he was falling right into the middle of a sticky sweet crush. A crush on Koichi. More than that he was powerless to stop it. 

“You sound like a politician,” Koichi said back, completely straight faced, then broke into a huge smile. 

“Shut up,” Yashiro countered and playfully shoved his friend. But they were on a steep hillside in the dark. Koichi stumbled backwards and fell. Yashiro fumbled to catch his friend…and failed…falling with him.

They both lay in the grass panting and laughing. “Your laughter is beautiful, Yashiro. It has been so long since I have heard you laugh,” Koichi said, turning toward his friend while hoisting himself up on one elbow. 

Yashiro had no idea what to say. He just stared into Koichi’s eyes. For a moment…a brief shining moment…he could see happiness within those eyes that twinkled and danced like the stars themselves. He could see a future. He tentatively reached up and let his fingertips glide across Koichi’s lips. In that moment, he wanted nothing more than to taste those lips.  
Koichi closed the distance and gently brushed his lips across Yashiro’s. For a few seconds, time stood still. For just a few fleeting seconds, Yashiro was truly happy for the first time in three years. He let his eyes flutter shut and felt a genuine warmth fill his heart.

Then it happened. A tidal wave of guilt washed over Yashiro. Panic bubbled up and nearly paralyzed him. He roughly pushed Koichi away and sat up, scrubbing his hands over his face trying to regain his composure…his self control.

“Please don’t push me away, Yashiro,” Koichi pleaded.

“But I…but Miki…I just…” Yashiro’s world was spinning. He could not get his breath. His hands were tingling. His chest hurt. He knew what was happening. He was falling head first into a crippling panic attack.

Koichi saw it, too. He saw Yashiro hyperventilating and was not sure what to do. So, he did the first thing that came naturally to him. He sat behind Yashiro and put his arms around his shoulders, just like he did at the river. He gently stroked his hair and whispered sweet words until a relatively normal breathing pattern finally returned to his friend.

“Thanks, Koichi. I do not know what came over me. I am better now,” Yashiro said shakily. “I hate this about me. I am so weak. I have no control over my emotions, and that makes me weak. I want to change. I need to change.”

“Change all you want, but I like you just the way you are,” Koichi whispered in his ear. “You may not want to hear this, but I am going to say it anyway. For the last three years you have not been living. You have only been existing. It is time to start living again. You do need something…but it is not to change yourself. At least not in the sense you are thinking of. Do you know what I think you need?”

Fighting to hold back tears of frustration, embarrassment, and guilt, Yashiro said, “Then tell me, Koichi. Tell me what you think I really need.”

“People will tell you that you need to let go of the past. I do not agree. The past is part of you. It made you who you are today…for better or for worse. I believe you can embrace your past and keep it in your heart forever. What is life, really, besides a collection of memories? The key is to have more good memories that you cherish than bad memories that you regret. What you really need? It is very clear to me. You need to accept your feelings. You need to accept that you are _allowed to have feelings_. You need to accept that you are worthy of being loved.”

Yashiro struggled to maintain his fragile composure. “But, how do I do that?”

_End of Chapter Two~_


	3. Chapter 3

_From Chapter Two~_

“People will tell you that you need to let go of the past. I do not agree. The past is part of you. It made you who you are today…for better or for worse. I believe you can embrace your past and keep it in your heart forever. What is life, really, besides a collection of memories? The key is to have more good memories that you cherish than bad memories that you regret. What you really need? It is very clear to me. You need to accept your feelings. You need to accept that you are _allowed to have feelings_. You need to accept that you are worthy of being loved.”

Yashiro struggled to maintain his fragile composure. “But, how do I do that?”

**Chapter Three**

“You ask me this, Yoshiro, but I think you already know the answer,” Koichi said, rubbing Yashiro’s back.

Yashiro had to admit it was true. He did know how. Kind of. The hard part was reconciling his guilt. “Koichi, this may take some time.”

Koichi chuckled a little at that. “I have been in love with you since I met you years ago. Nothing is going to change that.” He crawled on hands and knees to look at Yashiro in the eyes. “I am a patient man. I am not going anywhere,” he said softly and kissed Yashiro on the forehead.

~

It was late when Yashiro finally made it back home. He had stayed at Stargazer’s Point with Koichi until the small hours of the morning, talking and laughing about everything and nothing at all. The grass beneath them was cool and soft, but Koichi’s occasional, cautious touches were warm and electric. He felt relaxed with Koichi, but at the same time, more alive than he had felt in years.

Yashiro glanced at the clock as he crawled into bed. 04:15. “When was the last time I was up this late?” he wondered to himself. He realized he had been so depressed, so caught up in his despair, that he often went to bed before the sun was even set. His bed was familiar. His bed was _safe_. His last thought before slipping into deep sleep was that maybe Koichi had been right. Maybe he was not really living, but rather merely existing, wading through this life alone and waiting for death.

As usual, he dreamed of Miki again:

_Yashiro was at the Lantern Festival preparing to float Miki’s lantern. The river bank was crowded, and countless glowing lanterns slowly drifted past, lighting the path for so many departed souls to the next stage of their journeys. As Yashiro nudged Miki’s lantern into the gentle current, he realized that it had suddenly gotten very quiet. He looked over his shoulder and found that all the people were gone, and he was completely and utterly alone. A subtle apprehension took root in his heart. He turned back to watch Miki’s lantern disappear into the distance, but the gentle current of the river was also gone. It had been replaced with a swift, raging river filled with sharp jutting rocks. Miki’s lantern collided with rocks and debris as it bobbed in the water, struggling to stay afloat. Yashiro bolted to his feet and ran down river bank, chasing after Miki’s lantern. Then he heard it: the unmistakable roar of a waterfall. Yashiro, sprinting, arrived at the cliff just in time to see Miki’s lantern tumble over the edge of the waterfall and into the misty darkness below, only to be dashed to tiny pieces on the rocks._

Yashiro awoke in a panic. His first instinct was to call Koichi. He lunged for the phone on the table beside his bed and punched in the number before he even realized what he was doing. He was not thinking rationally. 

One ring…

Two rings…

“Please, Koichi…” he pleaded, holding the phone in a death grip.

Three rings…

“Good morning, Yashiro,” came Koichi’s sleepy voice.

“K-Koichi…I am…I had…please…” Yashiro cried, struggling to form coherent words from his chaotic mind.

“Yashiro, what happened? Calm down and tell me what is wrong. I am here. Tell me what happened,” Koichi said, sitting bolt-upright in bed.

Yashiro could only cry. He hated that he was so weak, but that was all he could do. He just cried. By the time he was able to properly communicate, Koichi was already out of bed, dressed, and pulling on his shoes at the door.

“Koichi, I need you,” was all he could get out.

“Don’t move, Yashiro. I am on my way.”

~

When Koichi arrived, Yashiro’s blind panic had been reduced to a vague numbness. Koichi wrapped his arms around his trembling shoulders as silent tears still streaked across Yashiro’s cheeks. Koichi’s embrace was so warm, his arms so strong, so protective.

After a few moments, Koichi asked, “Are you ready to tell me what happened?”

“Why am I such a pathetic mess all the time?” Yashiro demanded.

“Is that what has you so upset?” Koichi almost burst out laughing, but bit his cheek to hold it back. Yashiro was in an extremely fragile state, and he did not want to compound the problem. 

“No, not really. Well, kind of. I don’t know,” Yashiro mumbled. He then recounted his dream to Koichi.

“Yashiro, why do you think you had this disturbing dream about Miki?” Koichi asked while stroking Yashiro’s sweaty hair.

“It is clear, isn’t it? I am hurting Miki somehow,” he said in a whisper, guilt seizing his heart as he remembered how much he enjoyed being touched by Koichi…being kissed by him.

“Do you want to know what I think?” Koichi asked, uncharacteristic annoyance creeping into mood.

“Yes, please.”

“You think Miki is controlling your dreams? I believe your dreams have absolutely nothing to do with Miki. I am sorry, but Miki is dead. He has no control over your dreams…or your life. Your dreams are all _you_ ,” Koichi said, trying to be gentle, but knowing he sounded harsh.

Yashiro stayed silent, staring at the floor.

“Your dreams are simply your subconscious trying to reconcile your grief and your guilt. You are always looking behind, Yashiro. Try looking ahead for once,” Koichi continued, raising his voice and realizing that he had probably said too much. He was frustrated and rapidly becoming angry.

Koichi decided it was best to leave before he said things he would regret. “I think I have said enough. I will talk to you later, Yashiro.” 

Yashiro could not get a handle on what exactly he was feeling. A mixture of dark emotions, to be sure, but there was also a profound desire simmering in the pit of his belly.

“Koichi,” Yashiro shouted at his friend as he turned to leave, anger flashing in his eyes.

“Yeah? What…” was all Koichi could get out. In an instant, Yashiro grabbed him by the collar and shoved him roughly. A second later, Koichi found himself pinned against the wall, and his lips were being crushed under Yashiro’s. 

There was nothing gentle about this kiss. It was urgent, angry, needy, and driven by a fierce hunger. Every emotion that Yashiro had ever felt, good and bad, was poured into that kiss. Small tears still hung at the corners of his eyes. He wanted this. No, he _needed_ this.

After a few minutes, Koichi pushed Yashiro away. Wiping away saliva from the corner of his mouth while trying to catch his breath, he grinned.

“Welcome back, Yashiro.”

~End of Chapter Three


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did not intend this story to take a smutty turn so soon. But it happened anyway xD I hope you enjoy it~

_From Chapter Three~_

There was nothing gentle about this kiss. It was urgent, angry, needy, and driven by a fierce hunger. Every emotion that Yashiro had ever felt, good and bad, was poured into that kiss. Small tears still hung at the corners of his eyes. He wanted this. No, he _needed_ this.

After a few minutes, Koichi pushed Yashiro away. Wiping away saliva from the corner of his mouth while trying to catch his breath, he grinned.

“Welcome back, Yashiro.”

**Chapter Four**

Color rose in Yashiro’s cheeks. Whether it was from embarrassment or from arousal, he could not say. A brief smile crossed his lips, but it was not the sweet, slightly sad smile that was so typical of him. It was a grin that was dangerous, yet alluring. It was triumphant yet, admitted defeat. It was a smile that indicated that a profound shift in his psyche left him searching for proper footing.

For a moment, both men just stared at each other.

Koichi reached out and squeezed Yashiro’s hand. “Yashiro, I…” He faltered, searching for the right words. Before he found them, Yashiro gently placed his hands on Koichi’s cheeks and pulled him into a deep kiss. It started out soft and slow, full of emotion, but soon morphed into something much more fiery. Their tongues danced together in and out of soft lips and along smooth teeth as the heat of the kiss steadily rose. Before long, they were pawing at each other’s clothing, stumbling down the hall toward Yoshiro’s bedroom, their lips never losing contact.

When the backs of Koichi’s knees hit the bed, he tumbled onto his back. Yashiro pulled his T-shirt over his head in one fluid motion and tossed it away in a heap on the floor. Moments later, Koichi’s shirt landed on top of his. 

“Koichi, it has been a long time since I have done this. I am a bit out of practice,” Yashiro said, breathless.

Koichi blushed furiously. “Yashiro, I never…I wanted…I am a virgin,” Koichi confessed.

Yashiro slowly closed his eyes and let out a long breath. “We don’t have to do this. I don’t want to hurt you,” he said, his voice trembled, straining with effort to control his desires.

“But I want this. I have wanted this for so long. I don’t care if you hurt me,” Koichi said and arched his back, trying gain skin-to-skin contact with Yashiro. 

“Trust me. You will care.”

Years of repressed sexual frustration boiled up in Koichi over the only person he ever wanted but was never able to have. He pulled his pants off and kicked them away. “ _Please…_ ” was all he said. 

Yashiro could not tear his eyes away from the sight before him. Koichi lay nearly naked on his bed, squirming in anticipation. A wet spot was already visible atop his apparent erection poking at the confines of his boxers. He was a perfectly needy, fuckable mess at that moment.

Yashiro knew that he would have to take it slowly so as not to hurt him. But he also knew that he probably did not possess sufficient strength or will power to hold back right now. Both he and Koichi were too lost in their desires.

Koichi spoke again, but Yashiro did not hear a word of it. He could only see his perfect lips moving, still swollen from their urgent kiss.

“Koichi, do you trust me?” Yashiro whispered, so near Koichi’s face that he could feel his breath against his cheek.

“Completely.”

A grin pulled at the corners of Yashiro’s mouth, and he trailed light kisses down Koichi’s neck, chest, abdomen, and hips. He mouthed the tip of Koichi’s erection, swirling his tongue around and around, further wetting the fabric of his boxers.

Koichi, moaning low in this throat, bucked his hips trying to gain more contact.

Yashiro stood and pulled off his pants, turning them inside out in his haste, and then very slowly slid Koichi’s damp boxers down until his erection sprung free. He passed his tongue along his member from base to tip and stifled a moan at the seductive way Koichi fidgeted and whimpered.

A small part of Yashiro really wanted to tease Koichi and make him beg, but the bigger part of him wanted to feel Koichi release in his mouth and taste every drop. Yashiro knew that because of his inexperience and his heightened state of arousal, Koichi would not last long.

He took it all deep into his mouth until the tip reached the back of his throat, pressing his tongue against the throbbing shaft. Koichi snapped. His sweaty, shaking hands grabbed Yashiro by the hair as he lost control. He wildly thrust into Yashiro’s mouth again and again, panting and moaning, quickly approaching the edge.

Yashiro let Koichi do as he wanted, not minding one little bit that he was being face fucked. He had no control over any of it, and that made it more exciting. He rode his own wave of pleasure that was building, being fueled by Koichi’s moaning and inarticulate half-spoken words. He stroked himself shamelessly, rapidly catching up to Koichi, nearing the edge himself.

Koichi’s whole body tensed, and he spurted into Yashiro’s mouth. Yashiro sealed his lips around the tip and took it all, swallowing every drop. Koichi fell limp to the bed, every muscle in his body buzzing with pleasure and a vague exhaustion.

“Yashiro, that…that amazing. Sorry I came so fast. Please, I want to make you feel as good as you just made me feel,” Koichi panted, trying to focus his eyes.

“You already did,” Yashiro said, holding up his hand for Koichi to see. Thick drips of cum slid down his slender fingers. Koichi sat up and took his hand in his. He ran his tongue up and down each of his fingers trying to get it all. 

~

Yashiro climbed onto the bed and laid down next to Koichi, pulling the sheets up over them. “Let’s close our eyes for a few minutes. I am sleepy,” he said already feeling that unique floating sensation that came just before sleep. Within minutes, both were out, Koichi snuggling into Yashiro’s arms.

Yashiro dreamed of Miki again:

_Yashiro returned home late one night expecting to find Miki already in bed, but instead found him sitting under a blanket on the balcony reading an old, tattered book that he had read a hundred times before. The crickets were chirping, and the fireflies danced, casting their feeble lights into the night._

_Yashiro stepped onto the balcony and joined his lover. Kissing him on the top of the head, Yashiro asked, “Miki, why do you read and re-read that old book over and over again? It is literally falling apart, and surely you know the story now by heart.”_

_“The best stories are found in books that have the most ragged pages,” Miki said cryptically._

_Yashiro sat next to Miki and pulled the blanket up over his body._

_“I am happy for you, Yashiro.”_

_“Happy for me? Why?” Yashiro asked, truly confused._

_“Because you and Koichi are perfect for each other. Treat him well, Yashiro. He loves you,” Miki said and then kissed Yashiro on the forehead._

_Yashiro opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out._

_“Also, you should know…a storm is coming,” Miki said with a mischievous smile and a wink._

Yashiro startled awake. He felt Koichi’s slow, steady breath against his neck and smiled, thinking about his dream. With sudden realization, he sat straight up in bed. “I am the tattered book. I am the book with the ragged pages that is falling apart,” he whispered. “Miki was talking about… _me_.”

This brought a smile to his face. He laid back down next to Koichi, wanting nothing more than to fall back to sleep. He felt himself drifting off again when he suddenly his eyes flew open, and he said aloud, “Wait, a storm is coming?”


	5. Chapter 5

From Chapter Four~

_Yashiro opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out._

_“Also, you should know…a storm is coming,” Miki said with a mischievous smile and a wink._

Yashiro startled awake. He felt Koichi’s slow, steady breath against his neck and smiled, thinking about his dream. With sudden realization, he sat straight up in bed. “I am the tattered book. I am the book with the ragged pages that is falling apart,” he whispered. “Miki was talking about…me.”

This brought a smile to his face. He laid back down next to Koichi, wanting nothing more than to fall back to sleep. He felt himself drifting off again when he suddenly his eyes flew open, and he said aloud, “Wait, a storm is coming?”

**Chapter Five**

Koichi mumbled something as he stirred awake. Rubbing his sleepy eyes, he smiled up at Yashiro. “Your bedhead is adorable. Did you sleep well?”

Putting his questions about the coming storm aside as he ran his fingers through his unruly hair, he said, “I slept very well,” and then kissed his forehead.

“I have a surprise for you. Give me 30 minutes to go home and get cleaned up,” Koichi said, grinning.

“What are you up to?”

“You will see,” he said with a wink.

~

Yashiro closed his eyes and rested his forehead against the steamy wall of the shower as he let the warm spray bring him back to life. He wondered what Koichi had planned. He turned off the water and went to his bedroom to get dressed.

Koichi was knocking at the door just as he pulled his shirt over his head. “That was fas…” Yashiro began as he opened the door, but faltered at the sight before him. “Ooh. Hell. No.”

Koichi burst out laughing. “How did we…how did this… OH. MY. GOD.” He could not finish his sentences. He was laughing too hard.

For both men, it was like looking into a mirror. Both were wearing same black pants with pockets on the legs. Both were wearing the same green T-shirts with a black stripe across the chest. It did not help matters that both had short black hair and were about the same height.

“I need to change my clothes,” Yashiro said flatly, turning back toward his bedroom.

Koichi lunged and grabbed his hand, still laughing. “Don’t change. This was fate. It will be fun.”

“No way in hell.”

Koichi pulled Yashiro into a hug and said, “Come on. It will be fine. And if we don’t hurry, we will miss the train.”

“But…matching clothes…I just cannot. It is so cliché.”

“No one will even notice. I promise. Come on. Let’s go,” Koichi said stifling his laughter. He squeezed Yashiro’s hand and pulled him toward the door.

All Yashiro could think is, “Famous last words.”

~

“Look at them, ohmygawd, so cute…” said one girl to her friend in the train station, pointing as they walked past.

Yashiro’s face burned.

“…brothers or lovers?” came another hushed voice from behind them.

Yashiro squeezed his eyes shut.

“O. M. G. I ship them so hard!” another girl squealed from the train platform.

Yashiro buried his face in his hands.

“They, um… They are not talking about us,” Koichi offered, once more suppressing a giggle, as they sat side by side in the train.

“I will make you suffer for this. I hope you know that,” Yashiro said straight faced, but soon broke into a smile. Koichi was just so adorable. He looked so excited. So alive.

“I certainly hope so,” Koichi said and planted a quick peck on Yoshiro’s cheek.

“Where are we going anyway?”

“We are going on a proper date. We are going to the aquarium,” Koichi said, beaming.

Yashiro groaned. “The aquarium? Really? Could you be any more cliché?”

“That sounds like a challenge to me,” Koichi laughed.

“Kill me now,” Yashiro said. He had to admit, however, a date with Koichi sounded great. And he had not been to the aquarium in years. He was actually looking forward to this.

~

Yashiro and Koichi exited the train station a few blocks from the aquarium. More whispering and pointing followed them up the street. Yashiro was never one to draw attention to himself. This felt so foreign. “Koichi, how are you not embarrassed by all the people staring and whispering?”

“Who cares?” Koichi said, taking Yashiro’s hand and pulling him across the sidewalk, through the crowd, to the street corner.

The two men stood facing each other in the middle of a sea of people. Some of them hurried on their way to their destinations, sparing time for only a curious glance as they passed. Others stopped and stared. Still more whispered and pointed.

Koichi looked Yashiro in the eyes. “Let’s give them something to really talk about,” he said and placed his hands gently on Yashiro’s face.

Panic sparked momentarily in Yashiro. “He is going to kiss me… _here in public_ ,” Yashiro’s mind screamed at him. But that look in Koichi’s eyes. It was so full of want and need. It was so full of love. Slowly the panic ebbed from Yashiro’s mind. The crowd of people around them faded away until all that remained was Koichi.

Gliding his hands down to the belt loops on Yashiro’s pants, Koichi tugged him closer. He lightly brushed his lips across Yashiro’s, then hovered there barely making contact. When Yashiro opened his mouth to deepen the kiss, Koichi pulled back and smiled seductively. A small whine escaped Yashiro’s parted lips.

The world around them was nothing but a distant memory. Koichi gave Yashiro what he wanted. He pressed their mouths gently together. Soft, full lips moved slowly in unison as their tongues danced. Time stood still. Finally, Koichi broke the kiss and slapped him on the ass.

Yashiro was jolted back to reality by the burning, stinging pain on his back side. Abruptly, he and Koichi were back on the street corner surrounded by whispering gawkers. He was still horribly embarrassed that they were out together in matching clothes, but he found that he cared very little that people were watching him with his new boyfriend.

Koichi laced his fingers within Yashiro’s and, with a huge smile, said, “We are almost there. Come on.”

~

Koichi glanced up at the sky as they approached the entrance of the aquarium. Dark, angry clouds were gathering in the east. “We should have brought an umbrella,” he said.

Yashiro followed Koichi’s gaze skyward and stopped dead in his tracks. Memories of his dream about Miki rushed back to him. Miki had warned him about a coming storm.

Koichi stopped walking, as well, and turned to his boyfriend. “Yashiro, what’s wrong? You look pale. Are you feeling sick?”

Yashiro couldn’t speak. He didn’t even know what he would say if he could find his voice.

“Are you worried about the clouds? Don’t be silly! It is just a little bit of rain.”

“Y…you are right. Sorry. Yeah, I’m fine.”

~

It was dark and cool within the caverns of the aquarium. The two men walked hand in hand through underwater tunnels bathed in a strange blue-green light that was dim, yet glowing. Giant sea creatures drifted gracefully over their heads while schools of small, brightly colored fish darted this way and that. It felt like something out of a fantasy novel.

Just as they arrived into main viewing room, Yashiro heard the sound of muffled thunder. He tried to ignore the uneasy feeling taking root in his chest and focused on the spectacle before them. It was an octagon shaped room with viewing windows stretching from floor to ceiling on all sides. Soft, padded benches were grouped in the middle of the room.

He realized there were very few people at the aquarium today. Perhaps it was because of the approaching storm. The last of the visitors left the viewing room just as Koichi pulled Yashiro to the tank on the far side of the room. “This is my favorite place in the entire aquarium,” Koichi said.

Yashiro placed both hands on the thick, cool glass, eyes wide with wonder. Enormous schools of rainbow colored fish swam in lazy circular patterns through the water. It was mesmerizing. It almost looked as if the fish themselves were glowing.

Thunder brought him back to reality. The thunder was so strong that he felt the vibrations from it pulsing through the glass. He took a deep breath to calm himself. 

Koichi did not understand why the approaching storm was bothering Yashiro so much. He had never been afraid of storms before.

Koichi slid up behind his lover and embraced him from behind. He pressed his chest against Yashiro’s back and massaged lazy circles around his hip bones.

Yashiro moaned softly. He could not help himself.

Taking both of his hands, Koichi placed Yashiro’s palms against the glass wall of the aquarium. He slid his hands down Yashiro’s arms to his chest, lightly pinching and flicking his nipples through is shirt.

Gazing through the glass at the rainbow-colored fish, Yashiro’s heartbeat quickened with every touch from Koichi. The fish seemed to dart and pulse with every beat of his heart.

Koichi slid his hands down Yashiro’s chest and abdomen and came to a rest squeezing his inner thighs, up high, on either side of his groin. He leaned in closer, pressing his chest harder into Yashiro’s back, and whispered, “I want you.” He rocked his hips forward, sliding his rapidly forming erection along Yashiro’s ass.

A fierce twitch in Yashiro’s pants caused his breath to catch in his throat, and his body burned. Koichi’s hands found their way to his crotch and rubbed lightly through his pants. Yashiro moaned again, louder this time. His hands were trembling and his knees felt weak. He pressed his burning forehead against the cool glass as his lover stroked him to full hardness while rocking his hips against him.

“K…Koichi. We can’t d…do this here.”

Koichi mumbled something against Yashiro’s shoulders. He felt Koichi’s lips moving against his shirt and the heat of his breath against his skin, but could not understand a word of it. Koichi unzipped Yashiro’s pants and slid his hand inside.

Panting softly, Yashiro tried to turn to face his lover, but Koichi had him firmly pinned against the glass. Koichi stroked his shaft and fondled his tip while he licked and sucked at the nape of Yashiro’s neck just below his hair.

“Koichi…” Yashiro whispered as he rocked his hips against Koichi’s hand.

Thunder boomed overhead. The dim lights inside the aquarium flickered when the electricity threatened to fail.

“Koichi, please…” Yashiro had no idea if he was pleading for Koichi to stop or to finish what he started.

**“THE AQUARIUM WILL BE CLOSING IN 10 MINUTES DUE TO ICLIMATE WEATHER. ALL VISITORS ARE ASKED TO EXIT THE BUILDING AT THIS TIME.”**

Koichi ginned against Yashiro’s back. He could not have asked for a more perfectly timed storm.

~End of Chapter Five


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